Am I selfish for living one priority at a time?
Last weekend was one of those times that life got "lifey." Several months ago, I had registered for a professional training that I had been on a wait list to attend for 7 years!! Really...7 years. I didn't want to miss it.
But then one of the kids had a sports tournament out of town which left me home alone with the remaining kids. Thankfully my kids are old enough that they don't need constant direct care as they did in the not so distant past. But it did leave me with a certain logistical and mental load to be the only parent at home while also trying to focus on this long-awaited training and the rest of life like eating, sleeping and getting in movement.
It was a time to be flexible, to ask for help. But it was also a time that I got to practice the concept of Priority. Notice I didn't say "priorities." The definition of priority is "a thing that is regarded as more important than another." This week, I challenge you to pay attention to how often you use the word, "priorities." I would like to lovingly point out that it is impossible to practice multiple things that are regarded as more important than another at one time.
As wonderful but finite human beings, it is actually only possible to focus on one thing at a time. Any time you are multi -tasking, one or more of those things is actually not being attended to. While we multi-task to alleviate feelings of guilt or discomfort at not attending to what we think we "should" be attending to, it actually causes more distress to try to focus on and do many things at once.
During one of the days of training, my 10 year old walked into my office with the Lego set he so proudly put together himself. I had just asked a question and the presenter was directly answering my question at the exact moment the child walked into my office. Awkward!!! Instead of 1/2 looking at my child and 1/2 looking at the presenter, I made a split -second decision and looked straight at my child with a big smile and gave him the big "WOW!!" that brought a big smile to his face. I'm not saying I'm right and this was the best thing to do. I just know that I'd rather pick one than be 1/2 way with both people. In that moment, I chose my priority. I don't have to be right. I don't have to pick the same one every time. I just had to choose one in the present moment.
As busy women juggling multiple roles and demands, we could easily spend most of our waking hours doing 2 to 3 things at the same time. Not only are we defying inherent reality (priority is a singular, not plural word), in doing so, we create so much stress. Life brings enough demands. To successfully navigate them, we need to learn to choose our priority in any given moment. We are all given the same 1440 minutes in a day. How you choose to spend them is totally up to you. This is not selfish. This will bring you life that will not only help you feel less stressed and depleted but will give you more life to overflow onto those you love.